What if...?

A thought crossed my mind today...not sure at what point or what sparked it, but it has stuck with me.

 

"What if a willingness to be obedient is enough?"

 

Not what I strive to make happen, who I think I need to be or ANYTHING else. What if a heart willing to respond in obedience is all it takes? That is hard for me because I never feel like what I have to offer is enough. So I get frustrated, I strive, and am desperate to figure out what else I need to be or do. I'm afraid (although I'd never say it like this) that perhaps God won't _____ (fill in the blank)... and so it is up to me to try harder.

 

And so far? Trying harder has resulted in exhaustion both physically and emotionally. All the while, the core of the matter is do I know His heart and how do I respond to it? Nothing about my ability (or lack thereof) or what I need to strive to do. I can't make things happen, I can't force change. It leaves me frustrated and feeling inadequate. If I'm willing to stay in communion with God so that I can hear and know His heart ,then I have the opportunity to respond to His heart.

 

I believe that if my focus is there on Christ that He will change in me what needs to be changed, He will provide opportunities and He will show me steps to take. It has never been about me figuring it out or being good enough. So tonight that question still lingers...."What if a willingness to be obedient is enough?"

 

A place of obedience is where I want to live. I mess up with this and in so many ways more often than I care to admit. But I imagine living in that place is a bit simpler....not easier, but simpler because it takes my work out of the equation and shifts the focus back to God and His heart. That is what I want to learn this year, to live in obedience daily.